I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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