Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
3 2 1 whiskey
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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