In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
