Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
