hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
