you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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