yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
