I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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