Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
