Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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