I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Randomize
