Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
The uberlube is also flammable
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
