we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
