Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize