Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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