Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I deserve this hangover.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
