just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
