I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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