you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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