I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
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So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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