Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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