Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize