Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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