I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
