you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
