I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!