I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
