i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
