forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
