One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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