Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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