Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
