Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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