Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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