Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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