just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
