if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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