Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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