i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
whose parrot is this?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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