Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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