he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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