You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I looked at my own cervix.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
