I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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