and you said cock pushups were impossible
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
