I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
