so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You don't make any sense
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