there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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