seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
