My vagina just recognized that song.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
