I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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