So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I need moral support for this bender
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
