Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Come share oat with me in your robe
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