I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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