Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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